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ADS!!!
Sept 1, 2003 21:43:53 GMT -5
Post by TwitchDemon on Sept 1, 2003 21:43:53 GMT -5
NEED TO BEAT YOUR TED? THEN YOU NEED TWITCH CO'S BIMBUS 2038 OR 2039 STICK!!! THE 2038 MODEL GUARANTEES INTENSE DISCOMFORT TO YOUR TED AFTER A BEATING... JUST IN CASE YOU NEED TO GET THE POINT THROUGH. WHILE THE 2039 GUARNATEES HAPPINESS AFTER EACH AND EVERY BEATING... IF YOU DONT WANT TO GET ARRESTED! AND ITS SO VERSATILE! USE IT AS A BEATING STICK, A CARPET BEATER, A REPLACEMENT CHAIR LEG, OR EVEN A MERRY REPPELLER! ITS ONLY $14.95 AND IT COMES IN ALL THESE COLORS: BLUE RED PINK GREEN AND ORANGE! SO CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!
BUT WAIT! IF YOU CALL WITHIN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, YOU'LL GET BOTH THE 2038 AND THE 2039 FOR ONLY $2.00 MORE!! THIS AMAZING OFFER CANNOT BE REFUSED, SO CALL NOW!!!
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ADS!!!
Sept 1, 2003 21:46:41 GMT -5
Post by TwitchDemon on Sept 1, 2003 21:46:41 GMT -5
ALL NEW FROM OUR AMAZING TWITCH CO TECHNITIONS, ITS THE NEEDLE GUN!! DEVELOPED WITH THE MOST AMAZING TECHNOLOGY, THIS ASTONISHING DEVICE CAN SHOOT NEEDLES UP TO 5O FEET!! AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS GUN FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $103.29!! AND IF YOU PAY WITH HOMSAR CREDIT, WE'LL SLASH THE PRICE IN HALF!! SO CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!
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ADS!!!
Sept 1, 2003 21:51:07 GMT -5
Post by TwitchDemon on Sept 1, 2003 21:51:07 GMT -5
I BET YOU NEVER SAW IT COMING, BUT TWITCH CO, MANUFACTURERS OF ALL THINGS AMAZING HAS PUBLISHED A BOOK! YES, A BOOK! OVER 1000 PAGES, THIS BOOK, ENTITLED REASONS TO LAUGH AT *INSERT FORBIDDEN WORD HERE* WILL BOTH SHOCK AND AMAZE YOU! WITH FULL COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS, THIS BOOK CONTAINS 66689054367432 REASONS TO LAUGH AT THIS DEVIOUS, SNEAKY, NO GOOD, ASSHOLE OF A SHEEP! FROM HIS BAD HAIRCUTS, TO HIS DEVELOPING STUTTER, THIS BOOK WILL KEEP YOU LAUGHING FOR HOURS ON END AT *INSERT EDITED NAME HERE* AND YOU CAN GET IT FOR JUST $22.95!! SO CALL OUR NUMBER, 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!! AND, IF YOU PAY WITH A CREDIT CARD, WE'LL SEND YOU A SECOND COPY OF OUR BOOK, SIGNED BY THE AUTHOR, THE INFAMOUS TWITCH HERSELF!! THIS OFFER CANNOT BE SIMPLY BRUSHED ASIDE!! CALL NOW!!
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ADS!!!
Sept 1, 2003 21:53:52 GMT -5
Post by TwitchDemon on Sept 1, 2003 21:53:52 GMT -5
IN A SIMPLY ASTONISHING FEAT, TWITCH CO HAS PUBLISHED YET ANOTHER BOOK!!! THE EVIL PLAN BOOKLET IS GREAT FOR DEVELOPING DEMONS, AND EVIL MASTERMINDS ALIKE! WITH OVER 300 PAGES, AND 62568 PLANS, THIS BOOK WILL MAKE YOU FEEL MORE WELL INFORMED THEN EVER BEFORE! WITH A PROLOGUE BY MERRY AND AYE AYE, THIS BOOK BY THE INFAMOUS TWITCH IS JUST TO GOOD TO TURN DOWN! AND ITS ONLY $15.95!! SO CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!
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ADS!!!
Sept 1, 2003 21:57:19 GMT -5
Post by TwitchDemon on Sept 1, 2003 21:57:19 GMT -5
DO YOU LOVE HOBBITS? ARE YOU UNLUCKY? THEN WE HAVE JUST THE PRODUCT FOR YOU!! LUCKY HOBBITS FEET! DEVELOPED BY TWITCH CO TO FEEL JUST LIKE REAL HOBBIT FEET, THESE TOTALLY SYNTHETIC FEET ARE GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU FEEL LUCKY ALL YEAR ROUND!! AND THEY'RE ONLY $10.95!! PLUS, THEY COME IN A VARIETY OF HOBBIT STYLES: MERRY PIPPIN SAMWISE AND OF COURSE, FRODO!!!!!! SO CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!! BUT WAIT, IF YOU CALL IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES, WE'LL SEND YOU A SECOND HOBBITS FOOT ABSOLUTELY FREE!! A MATCHING SET!! SO CALL NOW!!
no hobbits were injured in the making of this product
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