ADS!!!

[TwitchDemon]

ok this is where im gonna put all the TWITCH CO ads. i wud put it sumwhere where it akshully made sense, but im a mod on this subj. so TOO BAD!

[TwitchDemon]

ANOTHER AD FROM TWITCH CO!!! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR LIFE?! DO YOU WANT IT BACK?! IS A HOMICIDAL BRITTANY TRYING TO KILL YOU AND YOU FEAR SHE WILL BE SUCCESSFUL?! THEN YOU NEED THE TWITCH CO. IMMORTALITY POTION!!! JUST ONE SQUIRT AND YOU WILL STAY ALIVE FOREVER!!! YOU WILL KEEP REZZING NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES BRITTANY STABS YOU WITH THAT LONG, BLOODY DAGGER!!!! LET ME DEMONSTRATE *takes ted #1* THIS TED HAS NOT BEEN SPRAYED WITH IMMORTALITY POTION! LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SHOOT HIM WITH MY .45 CALIBER RIFLE!! *shoots ted #1* *he lies there bleeding on the floor* SEE?! HE'S DEAD!!! AND WE'LL NEVER GET HIM BACK!!! BUT LOOK AT TED #2 *everyone looks at him* HE HAS BEEN PRE-SPRAYED WITH OUR PATENTED IMMORALITY SPRAY!!! NOW LOOK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SHOOT HIM!!!! *shoots* *ted #2 dies, rezzes* AND HE'S BACK TO LIFE!!! AMAZING!!! AND A BOTTLE OF THIS FANTASTIC PRODUCT CAN BE YOURS FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $14.99!!! AND, IF YOU CALL IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, WE WIL GIVE YOU A SECOND BOTTLE OF IMMORTALITY SPRAY ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! A GREAT GIFT FOR ANY FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER, OR IF YOUR JUST REALLY REALLY PARANOID!!! SO CALL NOW 1-800-TWITCHCO

[TwitchDemon]

TWITCHCO. SLEEPING POTION SMELLS JUST LIKE TASTY TASTY WATERMELONS!!! AND NO MATTER WHEN YOU USE IT, YOU CAN WAKE UP AT WHATEVER TIME YOU WISH, AND FEEL FULLY RESTED!! THEN JUST CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO AND ASK ONE OF OUR FABULOUS OPERATORS TO LET YOU PURCHASE OUR PRODUCT FOR JUST $12.99!!!
IT ALSO COMES IN A VARIETY OF COLORS!!
GREEN
YELLOW
AND BLUE!!

[TwitchDemon]

AIR RIPPER!!! MANUFACTURED BY TWITCH CO. AND COUSIN TO THE RAIN RIPPER, THIS MAGNIFICENT DEVICE WILL SOLVE ALL OF URE AIR RIPPING NEEDS!!! AND IT COMES IN A VARIETY OF COLORS!!!
YELLOW
GREEN
BLUE
AND PURPLE

AND YOU CAN GET IT FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $19.95!!! PLUS, IF YOU ORDER WITHIN THE NEXT 10 MINUTES YOU GET THIS HANDY CARRYING CASE, A $10.00 VALUE ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-RIP-STUF ORDER NOW!!!!

[TwitchDemon]

ALL NEW FROM TWITCH CO. ITS THE AUTO EYE COLOR CHANGER!!!! ONE CLICK AND YOUR EYES CAN GO FROM A DULL COLOR TO SOMETHING TRULY AMAZING!!! LIKE COLOR CONTACTS WITHOUT HAVING TO TOUCH YOUR EYE!!!AND ITS ONLY $23.95!!! COLORS INCLUDE:
BLACK
RED
YELLOW
PINK
GREEN
ORANGE
PURPLE
AND BLUE
AND IF YOU ORDER WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD YOU WILL RECEIVE AS A FREE GIFT: PATTERNED COLOR EXTENSION PACK!!! PUT ALL SORTS OF NIFTY NEW PATTERNS IN YOUR EYES!!! THIS $20.00 VALUE ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL NOW 1-800-EYE-CHANGE

[TwitchDemon]

YOU TOO CAN GET YOUR OWN HOLOGRAM PROJECTER THINGY FROM TWITCH CO. FOR THE LOW LOW LOW PRICE OF $27.50 (10% ROYALTIES 4 WISA) ITS AMAZING! ITS SPECTACULAR! IT HIDES YOU AND YOUR BOY/GIRLFRIEND FROM BEING CAUGHT MID MAKE-OUT!!!! SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-HOLOGRAM

[TwitchDemon]

NOW YOU TOO CAN RIP RAIN JUST LIKE THE ASSOCIATES AT TWITCH CO. WITH THE *drum roll* MAGIC RAIN RIPPER!!!! *doodley-doo* YOU JUST POUR SOME RAIN INTO THE NOZZLE, HIT THE RIP BUTTON AND PRESTO *magical sound.... like fairy dust* RIPPED RAIN!!! AND YOU CAN GET ONE FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $19.95!!! CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO TODAY!!!

[TwitchDemon]

HAVE YOU EVER NOT WANTED TO HEAR A WORD?! AN EXES NAME? A MATH FORMULA? THEN YOU NEED THE TWITCH CO WORD CHANGER!!!!! JUST PUSH ONE TEENY WEENY BUTTON AND PRESTO! THE WORD YOU DONT WANT SAID HAS BEEN CHANGED TO A PRESET WORD! YOU CAN GET RID OF NASTY CUSS WORDS WHILE YOU BABYSIT! YOU CAN TAKE THE WORDS FROM SOMEONES MOUTH IF THEY ARE BOTHERING YOU! PRESET WORDS INCLUDE:
FUCK
SHIT
DAMN
VAFANAPOLI
PURPLE
AND Q?!
SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO TO GET THIS AMAZING OFFER FOR JUST $14.95!!! AND IF YOU CALL IN THE NEXT 5 MINUTES, WE'LL THROW IN A SECOND WORD CHANGER ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! CALL NOW!!

[TwitchDemon]

ALL NEW FROM TWITCH CO!!! THE AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, UNDEPRESSER!!!!! IF YOU'VE BEEN FEELING DOWN JUST ZAP YOURSELF AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY FOR HOURS!!! THIS PATENTED MACHINE MAKES HAPPY RIGHT THERE IN THE SAFETY COMPARTMENT!! AND ITS ONLY $29.95!!!! SO CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!! AND IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, WE'LL THROW IN THE UNDEPRESSER EXTENSION PACK!!! KEEP YOUR HAPPY HIGH FOR HOURS WITH THESE SPECTACULAR BREECHED ON TECHNOLOGY!!! THEY LAST UP TO 48 HOURS!!! SO CALL NOW!!!

sideeffectsmayincludelossofsleepafteraffectdepressionandoveractivehyperness

[TwitchDemon]

ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING NOTHING TO DO ON THOSE LONG, LONG WEEKENDS? ARE YOU WISHING YOU HAD SOMETHING BETTER TO DO?! THEN YOU NEED... THE FIELD HOCKEY STICK OF DOOM!! ALL NEW FROM TWITCH CO, THIS ASTONISHING PRODUCT WILL BOTH WOW AND AMAZE YOU! JUST PICK UP THE STICK, AND SWING IT RANDOMLY AT SOMEONES HEAD AND PRESTO! YOU HAVE A GREAT AFTERNOON FILLED WITH FUN! ITS ONLY $19.95 AND IT COMES IN ALL THESE DIFFERENT BRANDS:
STX
CRANBARRY
MOHINDER
AND WASP!
SO GET OUT YOUR CREDIT CARD AND CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!!


copyright, traddemark, all rights reserved

[TwitchDemon]

DO YOU WANT TO WISH? WISH FOR FISH? THEN YOU NEED TWITCH CO'S FISH WISH DISH!!! THIS IS THE GREATEST IMPROVEMENT IN MODERN TECHNOLOGY!! JUST HOLD OUT THE DISH, WISH FOR FISH, AND PRESTO!! ALL THE FISH YOU COULD WANT!!
AND THEY COME IN ALL THESE DESIGNER COLORS:
YELLOW
PINK
PURPLE
AND MAROON!
THIS IS AN AMAZING OFFER THAT YOU CANNOT TURN DOWN! AND IT COMES W/ A 30 DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE! SO CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!! ITS ONLY $13.95!!

[TwitchDemon]

ALL NEW FROM TWITCH CO!! ITS "THE PRETTY MAKER"!! EVERYONE HAS THEIR UGLY DAYS, AND WHEN YOUR FEELIN LIKE THIS, YOU NEED THE TWITCH CO PRETTY MAKER!! A WONDERFUL DEVICE, AND ONLY $15.55!!! JUST ONE SHOT, AND YOU'LL BE ALMOST AS PRETTY AS KATHERINE!! AND THATS BOUND TO MAKE ANYONE FEEL GOOD!! SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!!

[TwitchDemon]

*FLASHES VARIOUS IMAGES OF PEOPLE TACKLING EACH OTHER AND SCORING GOALS IN RNADOM SPORTS GAMES* THE BEST NEW DRINK ON THE MARKET, TWITCH CO'S HATERADE!!! GUARANTEED TO INDUCE COMPETITIVE SPIRIT, AND GIVE YOU AN INTENSE WILL TO PLAY TO WIN! AND IT COMES IN ALL THESE WONDERFUL FLAVORS!:
LEMON
ORANGE
LIME
STRAWBERRY
AND BLUEBERRY!!!
ITS ONLY $15.95 FOR A COMBO PACK OF SIX, SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO TODAY!

[TwitchDemon]

DO THE DUCKS WATCH YOU FROM ACROSS THE STREET? HAVE YOU SHOT THEM MANY TIMES AND CANT THINK OF A WAY TO GET RID OF THEM? ARE THEY REALLY STARTING TO PISS YOU OFF?! THEN YOU NEED THE PATENTED TWITCH CO DUCK KILLER!! JUST AIM THE SPRAY NOZZLE AT THE OFFENDING DUCK, PULL GENTLY ON THE PULSE RANDOMFIER AND YOUR DUCKS ARE GONE!! AND YOU CAN GET THIS SPECTACULAR ADDITION TO ANY HOME FOR JUST 3 EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.95!!! SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!

[TwitchDemon]

IS THAT MERRY-GHOST IRRITATING YOU? DO YOU WISH SHE WOULD JUST FUCK OFF AND DIE BUT SHE CAN'T BECAUSE SHE'S A GHOST? THEN YOU NEED TWITCH CO'S GHOST INJURING FORMULA!! THIS PATENTED FORMULA ALL NEW FROM TWITCH CO WILL ENSURE THAT THE GHOST'S AFTERLIFE IS AN UN-LIVING HELL! JUST ONE SPRAY WILL PUT A GHOST IN INTENSE PAIN FOREVER AND EVER! AND ITS ONLY $14.95!!! SO GET YOUR CREDIT CARD READY AND CALL 1-800-TWITCHCO NOW!!!!